Selfish or Self-care

This is certainly something I struggled with for a number of years. How could I go to the gym, or spend time on me if that meant I was not helping Kat look after the kids? If it meant I wasn’t doing work that needed doing on the gyms? I wanted to be a good dad, so that meant I should be a dad at every opportunity, no?

The truth is this meant I’d be with the kids, and thinking about what needs doing at work. I’d be at work, and thinking I need to get some stuff done for Kat. I’d try and squeeze a training session in, and I’d be thinking of everything that was on my to do list that I should probably be doing. I was trying to do the bits that I felt were important, forget about me for while, and in the end doing an average job at everything. And a crap job at self-care.

So what happened when I put myself first initially? Everything else got better. 10 minutes for a morning routine and I hit the day in a much better place. Being active and moving as often as I could and my self-worth started to grow. Practicing gratitude daily and my outlook drastically changed.

Did that mean I spent less time overall with my family. Yes, but not by a huge amount. Did it mean that when I was with my kids, I was actually with them in every way? 100%, and they noticed it. When you’re not flitting from one thing to another, not worrying about every aspect of your life, and just focusing on one until it’s done, you get much better at that thing, and the rest follows.

I want to be healthy for my kids is something that every parent thinks. Sadly, it’s something that a lot of parents don’t follow through on, for what appear to be all the right reasons. Looking after yourself isn’t selfish, it’s self-care. It’s also the best thing you can do for your family.